No matter how hard you worked to accomplish something, always make your successes appear to be effortless in the eyes of other people. Men and women alike are hardwired to respect people who achieve extraordinary things with minimal effort. This is the foundation behind the law of least effort. Think of your favourite sports stars who you most admire. They make their success appear effortless, they don’t show themselves working in the gym 12 hours a day, hitting the weights. They just show the flawless execution of the ball going in the basket. When people observe you getting extraordinary results while putting in little to no effort to get these results, they will gravitate toward your presence.
Think of a guy that you know who has high value. Chances are that this guy barely has to do anything other than walk into a room and people (both men and women) will seek his approval and validation. Attraction is a balancing act between pushing things forward and the law of least effort. You need to be skilled at moving the interaction forward in a non-needy manner while giving off the vibe of putting in the least amount of effort possible to keep it alive.
Depending on your social status and reputation you may be able to get away with more than other guys. For example, if you are a celebrity, superstar, famous tech entrepreneur or whatever.. chances are you won’t have to put in any effort at all to establish attraction with women. These situations are highly unlikely, but the average man can build value and pseudo-notoriety for himself with this thing called the internet (a topic for another time). But chances are that you will have the take the initiative when it comes to meeting women (that’s the way it is for almost all men).
Let’s run through some common examples you might be familiar with
- Chasing a girl from across the bar communicates that you are putting in a lot of effort
- Going out of your way to leave a good impression communicates that you are putting in a lot of effort
- Standing there for 10 minutes trying to come up with a fancy pick-up line communicates that you are putting in a lot of effort
- Making it seem as if “it just happened” (aka you just happened to be in the same area) communicates low effort on your part
- Making racy self-amusing jokes communicates low effort
- Aloofness communicates low effort
- Asking her to do simple things for you (e.g. “can you hold my beer for a sec”) communicates low effort on your part
- Playfully teasing communicates low effort on your part
Those are just a few of the many things to keep in the back of your mind when dealing with women that you find attractive. A lot of the times men over-complicate the simplicity of meeting women and in the process they try way too fucking hard, which ends up backfiring.
Strip attraction down to it’s roots and keep it simple.