Getting over exes can be a tricky and unpleasant subject for many men. But the good news is it doesn’t have to be.
First you may want to read out in-depth guide on whether or not you should be in a relationship with your significant other. If you are questioning your current relationship, we have a couple tools in there that will help you evaluate a course of action.
Almost all problems associated with a break-up stem from overwhelming emotion that clouds a man’s judgment and tends to blind him from thinking reasonably.
1) Come to terms with the fact that she will be fucking other guys
There I said it. The worst part of any break-up is picturing another man’s cock in your innocent girlfriend’s mouth. So let’s just get that out of the way now. It’s going to happen. She is going to go on a binge afterward and there is nothing you can do about it.
As soon as you are able to come to terms with this, the easier the next parts get.
2) Consult your friends
By your friends I do not mean your loserish friends who live mediocre lives. Their opinions don’t matter on this subject. You need to have a circle of accomplished men who have achieves success in all aspects of their lives; fitness, health, money, women. If they are successful in these fields then it is highly likely that they will all tell you the same thing…
She is not as great as you think she is/she is replaceable
The reality is that, when going through a breakup we are so overwhelmed with emotions that we are unable to see the facts through the emotional haze that is in front of us. What I am saying is that if you at the top of your game; you are in peak physical condition, have a hefty bank roll, are confident with women then you are going to have 0 issues finding another woman of equal or greater caliber than your current girlfriend. In fact, they will be coming to you.
Your successful friends will tell you that there are a million other girls just like her – this is true and they know it from experience. You know it too, but your emotions aren’t letting you focus on that right now.
3) Cut off social media and all contact
This is going to sting. When you break up with your girlfriend you are going to need to cut yourself off from viewing any of her social media posts for your own good. Do not feel bad about deleting her off facebook, twitter, tweeter, twatter, whatever… It may sound harsh, but you are not doing it out of spite, it’s just a temporary mechanism to help you clear your head and get back to neutral.
I am not going to go deep into the manipulative psyche of exes, but often they will play games with you post break-up. These will include but are not limited to; blatantly (yet feebly) posting pictures, videos, screenshots to make you jealous. But since you have already pictured another guys cock in her mouth, this doesn’t really matter.
4) Be patient
You are going to be used to steady sex, or maybe not (maybe that’s why you broke up) but usually after a break-up it might take some time to get your bearing straight again.
5) Do not reach out to her again
You are a man and you stick by your decision. Weather the storm and don’t show weakness by wavering on a pole.
6) Keep yourself busy
Throughout your relationship you should have been developing yourself on a regular basis; starting a business, picking up classes, getting jacked at the gym, building your social circle, traveling, etc… But usually men get complacent when in relationships and fail to do these things.
If so, then NOW is the time to go full force with your extra-curriculars. Join that MMA gym, take up yoga, enroll in that language class.
On a similar note, keep your friends close.
7) Create a logic table
I created this after going through my break-up. It really allowed me to separate fact and logic from emotion. No matter how much I wanted to get back together with my ex, I kept going back to this table and it reminded my why I made my decision to get out of the relationship.
Essentially what you do is write down all thoughts running through your mind in no particular order. Trust me you will have tons of them. Here are a few common ones:
- What happens if I can’t find another girl?
- Reality check: You have been with tons of cool and sexy women before her and you will continue to meet more after her.
- What happens if she was the girl for me and I just let her go?
- Reality check: This is a fairly tale. Sure there are women that you get along with but the whole “the one” thing is bullshit. Like your successful friends tell you, there are a million other girls just like her out there.
- I feel guilty and selfish for giving up on her
- Reality check: So what? You need to be selfish for you own personal development and well being.
- What if I am making the biggest mistake of my life?
- Reality check: maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. You will never know. Life is not like a math quiz, there is not correct path. So putting this much weight on a potential “mistake” is foolish. It’s a decision you thought about in depth and made. Either live with it or get back with her if you feel like that’s the right thing to do.
8) Appreciate the good times you had and don’t harbor resentment
What’s done is done. Any time you spend stressing over something that is in the past that cannot be undone is wasted energy. Put that to something productive. Assuming you ended your relationship on good terms, this will be easy.
If you ended the relationship on bad terms (i.e. she cheated on you) then I think you can take this piece a little more lightly. I feel like you can be as harsh as you want if that’s the case. If she cheated on you cut her off completely and never talk to her again. She doesn’t deserve a chance to apologize or “explain things”. Just be thankful that you found out about her poor moral character, judgement and lack of self-control but you had any kids with her. If you do have kids with her – my condolences (I heard they found life on Mars).
Some guys say that the best way to get over an ex is by fucking other women. Variety is one of the best parts of being single and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem arises when you are going after women in volume for the sole purpose of stifling your grief and emotions. Then it becomes detrimental to your emotional well being.
Instead, deal with your emotions first and then pursue other women. But if you happen to meet women you find sexy and want to have fun with, go for it. But don’t do it as a way to cope with your emotional pain.
10) Realize that your friends and family are still and will always be there for you
This is probably the most important thing. When you feel like there is no way you will ever become emotionally stable again, remembering this tiny thing can give you a much needed ray of sunshine and allow you to relax a bit.